UNFAITHFUL WIFE: We, my husband and I, have spent the last five days trapped in a fairy-tale land with no internet. I read three books. We walked through magical forests to overlook meadow and pastures and villages all set against a backdrop of castle-dotted mountains.
As we walk my husband invents stories of elves and orcs and dwarves. I enjoy his tales, but I also think they highlight some of our differences.
My husband and I have few common interests. At first I thought this was a good thing. My initial reaction to couples who are undyingly interested in the same things is revulsion. Blech. I love interacting with people who are wholly different from me. I believe it makes me a more compassionate person, but in marriage, I have found, it poses some challenges.
I think the distance started to grow while we were working a seasonal job in Maine. I love hiking, and my favorite time for it is just as the sun comes up. During the summer in Maine, the sun rises far earlier than it does where we were from, and I wanted to be there to greet it. My husband, however, likes to rise at a reasonable hour no matter what the sun is doing. So I got in the habit of leaving him, snugly asleep in our bed, so I could wander the Maine wilderness.
Later, when we settled for a spell, I continued the same habit. There were other things, though. My husband, for example, likes games. He grew up playing Dungeons ad Dragons or Magic: The Gathering. He also enjoys a range of board games. I do not. For me, they may as well be called bored games, but I don’t want to discourage my husband from playing. So, when the opportunity arose, I would encourage him to go play…without me. Likewise, events would come around that interested me, not him. At first, I would take him with me, but I couldn’t enjoy myself with him there not enjoying himself. So I stopped taking him. It was so much easier.
At first things seemed great. We were an independent and modern couple, but eventually we became less of a couple and more like roommates. We shared a bed but, at times, not much else. I really think this helped lead to my affair.
On this world trip we are with each other constantly, but, I’ll admit, I am afraid of what will happen when we get back to the real world. I am still grossed out by those we-share-everything couples, and sometimes I would like to just walk out the door without telling anyone where I’m going. I do have some plans in place, though. For one, next time a game night presents itself I am going to play some board games. I am also going try to choose a few things that I really really (pretty please with sugar on top) want to do and invite him to do them with me. I don’t know how far that will get us, but it’s a start.